‘Imagine you are far away from all your troubles and drifting away in an ocean of calm,’ the hypnotist says and I freak because I can’t swim. But I go with it because I’m paying her to cure me of my fear of heights – I can always write a damning review if this makes the one about drowning weirder in the process.
‘You are in a bubble that nothing can penetrate…’
Getting hard to breathe here, ma’am.
‘Rolling along gently afloat on a shipless ocean…’
I do my best to smile. It’s the face to go with a body recoiling from a rifle shot.
‘You now come to the edge of the water, safe in your bubble, gently bobbing, feeling light as a ray. Now I want you to slowly look down…’
What? Roll back! Roll back!
‘To behold the most wondrous thing you have ever seen.’
I see blackness. Wrapped in white fear. The only wonder here is why I’m paying someone to push me into the abyss.
And then, beyond the clamour of the savage waves lashing against the rocks and the wind shrieking in anguish, I hear the call.
Sail to me, sail to me.
I am not so deep in trance that I imagine I am Poseidon, or that I have wings and nymphs to guide me, but with this one breath I pierce the bubble, let the sea enfold me, and fall.
Here I am. Knowing you’ll be there.
Waiting to hold me.
For Priya Joi. By Shihab S Joi
Hat-doff: Tim Buckley, Larry Beckett, This Mortal Coil